No, it's not twins

This week sees the introduction of a fun new topic for blog posting, one we will call 'Insensitive Morons of the World'. With 12 weeks to go before Paris arrives, I have had three complete strangers acost me in public places about my pregnancy and my current size:

• 17/09 - Woman next to me on train asks when I am due. When I say December, I get 'oh, you must be having twins, I was as big as you are when I had twins'. I put in my iPod and ignore her for the rest of the trip.
• 18/09 - Going down escalator to work. Woman going up the other size says 'oh, you must be just about due'. I respond with 'In 12 weeks'. She pulls a face like 'I just fucked up'. Yes, yes you did.
• 22/09 - At a friend's baby shower, some random woman comes up and PUTS HER HANDS ON MY STOMACH WITHOUT ASKING, says 'oh, you must be just about done', to which I say December... and the next thing is, yep, you guessed it 'oh, it's a multiple then?'. No. FUCK OFF. As it's a friends party, I try to be civil and say 'Yeah, but I am a big person, it's all in proportion', trying to give the poor woman a graceful way out. She replies ''NOT THAT BIG, HAHAHHAHA'.

Honestly, I know that being able to kill people with my mind might result in me killing ALOT of people, but at this point, don't you think I deserve it????

Another thing they don’t put on the brochure

My girth has now reached a point where getting out of bed is like trying to get up after some bastard has strapped an entire load of wet laundry to your person. Ungainly, frustrating and exhausting.

After getting up to pee twice on Thursday night, I woke up again at 3am to pee yet again. At this point, even the thought of getting up was making me tired. So I lay in bed thinking to myself ‘Sooo… how much faith do I really have in all those pelvic floor exercises I have been doing? ON the domestic sins list, just how high is peeing yourself because it’s too hard to get up?’

The next day, Paul’s response to this was ‘If the choice is between being woken up to get you out of bed, or peeing yourself, just wake me up’. He left off ‘stupid woman’ but I am pretty sure it was in the version in his brain..

Good to know. He might yet regret that.

P.S. Kudos to Dr Ganter for suggesting flight socks for the leg cramps. Works a treat!

Bloomers!

Bloomers!, originally uploaded by Kim (GGS).

Please note I have restrained myself from quoting anything from Peter Cundall in the title of this post.

These are from a pattern in Sally's baby book (the title of which I should track down given I have given it such a work out) and are a great way to make something out of 30cm of 'something you like but don't know what to do wtih' - hence the crazy space pants on the bottom left!

They are actually pretty big and I can see them doing double duty as shorts with looser elastic in the top and no elastic in the legs.

Final note: I am moving closer to turning into my grandmother as I made these with FRENCH SEAMS. But I have to say, the finish is excellent and very non-scratchy!