- 17/09 - Woman next to me on train asks when I am due. When I say December, I get 'oh, you must be having twins, I was as big as you are when I had twins'. I put in my iPod and ignore her for the rest of the trip.
- 18/09 - Going down escalator to work. Woman going up the other size says 'oh, you must be just about due'. I respond with 'In 12 weeks'. She pulls a face like 'I just fucked up'. Yes, yes you did.
- 22/09 - At a friend's baby shower, some random woman comes up and PUTS HER HANDS ON MY STOMACH WITHOUT ASKING, says 'oh, you must be just about done', to which I say December... and the next thing is, yep, you guessed it 'oh, it's a multiple then?'. No. FUCK OFF. As it's a friends party, I try to be civil and say 'Yeah, but I am a big person, it's all in proportion', trying to give the poor woman a graceful way out. She replies ''NOT THAT BIG, HAHAHHAHA'.
Honestly, I know that being able to kill people with my mind might result in me killing ALOT of people, but at this point, don't you think I deserve it????
2 comments:
We could get you a shirt that says "no it's not twins you moron" on it?
Or you could amuse yourself making snide remarks about the morons back to them
"Oh, you must be just about due"
"And you must be just about ready for day release!"
With regards the third person, I'd have stuck my arm down her throat and ripped her voice box out, but then I'm a peaceable guy........
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